Red Ocean

Disclaimer: The term “Red Ocean” referring to the fanclub Cassiopeia was not coined by me.

AN: Red Ocean to DBSK’s eyes from my point of view…

*

Red Ocean

The rush of cheers that sweeps away my soul
   brings tears into my eyes. I howl
   and wail and sing my heart, and prowl
   with every beat of heart. I fly
   and fall, reach up and fail and yet
   these people cheer and smile and wail.
I laugh, they laugh. I cry, they cry.
I sing, they sing to bars avail.

I stand to be what I have dreamed,
Worked hard to what these people deem.
Some others doubt but in the end
To the immensive sea they bend.
The others left don’t give away
   a thing, but sneers and snide and hate.
It’s hard to know their reason why;
They’re hard enough to satiate.

I give my all, I do my best,
And though I sometimes fail the test,
Standing still, immensive sea,
Like warriors set to drive away
   the enemy who cries with glee;
A moment of mistake he pries;
The vultures pick on every wound
Until I break and fall and cry.

Immensive sea, still they stand,
Beside–my side– like countless sand.
Immensive sea, like burning fire,
Good luck to those who rouse her ire.
Scathing looks at me will meet
A tide of vengeance not so sweet.
Good tidings bring good tiding, though.
Praise-worthy through her eyes shall meet.

A lover, child, a fiend, a friend;
So much describes the ocean red.
Though often full of good intent,
Her enemies have often bled.
A lover sweet and kind and good,
A jealous girlfriend when she broods.
A child who looks and laugh at me.
Attention-seeking brat she’d be.
Companions through my night and day,
A friend who keeps my ghosts at bay.
A mother guiding through a storm,
Protecting me from every scorn.

And when I stand before the sea,
It overwhelms, I feel the love
   and pure affections like a storm
   of pure emotions clashing hard.
Exhilirating freedom felt
Through practiced actions ever dealt.
A sweet, sweet irony, it seems;
A prison bursting in its seams.
Confusing jumbled words just flow
Like endless streams of crystal clear.
A mumbled “Thank you” through my tears,
A heartfelt passion met with cheers.

The pearl red sea, so often seen
   a threat, sinister force to deem
Now see, won’t they be proven wrong?
Admire at how they form a team.
In times of great despair, they stay
Protecting me all night and day.
The lies spewed by vultures had
   befallen angry hearts and flayed.
And now together they stand
Against the threats the foe has laid.
A family supporting each
And everyone through every shade.

The once young pearl red sea has grown
   into an ocean larger and
   their once unsure and swaying
   love cemented firm remain unbarged.
I treasure you deep in my heart.
Come hear me give more than my part.
Cassiopeia, your loud cheers ring.
Now sit a while and hear me sing.

*

AN: …That was tiring… Yeah, DBSK inspires the creativity juices to keep flowing. *face palm* I am so lame.

Copyright October 21, 2009 by Meriken (Bahay Kubo). Please do not take out or distribute without author’s persmission.

Uncertain Times

I haven’t posted for a long while now, but in these uncertain times, I feel the need to express my mind or I’ll explode. Everything’s a blurr, and it’s hard to set apart the truth from the mountains of lies. I’m scared, but at the  same time, I think I have nothing to be afraid of. One thing is for sure, I trust DBSK, and I trust that everything will be for the best in the end.

**************************************************

Uncertain Times

In these times of uncertainty
   when we are all afraid
To face the possibility
   that your name soon will fade,
We find it hard to cast away
   the fears the plague our hearts.
What more when we are seas away,
   the thousand miles that parts.

We fear that soon you’ll never be
   five brothers on the stage
Who gives their all and makes us dream
   and love and sing and rage.
It’s hard to think you’ll be no more
   someday. It breaks my heart.
And now in these uncertain times,
    I fear you’ll fall apart.

But if there’s one thing I’m as sure
   as the stars up above
Is that I know you’ve never lied
   about your bond and love.
A hundred times, a thousand times
   you’ve showed and told and proved
Whatever obstacles you’ve faced,
   TOGETHER you have moved.

And that’s enough to calm my heart
   through this uncertain time…
That five is one and one is five:
  one more, one less– a crime.
Your brotherhood I do not doubt,
   your words and hearts are one.
Your name may fade but your bond
   is sure like the rising sun.

Tonight, we’ll sleep with hopes held high.
   together we’ll stand…
A legion of united fans behind the greatest band
   we’ve ever known…
Just look behind and there we’ll be, a pearl red sea.
In these uncertain times, be it our ultimate decree.

-Meriken-

**************************************************

As what Yoochun said, and as what Cassiopeia/BigEast/International fans have been saying…

Always keep the faith!

Secret Christmas Message

Find the not-so-secret message hidden within the poem =)

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May this season never end
Enticing memories of this occasion
Rhyming words this letter send
Ring the bells of joyful Christmas
Yonder gates of singing men

Come and sing a merry song
He, today, has been born
Rest your minds ‘bout evil thoughts
In His arms is where you belong
Safe are you from rising pain
‘Til peace of your mind be gained
Much awaited season is here
A time to give love to those who’re dear, and
Sick, and people living in fear

‘Tis the season to be joyful
Oh, come all, let’s celebrate

Young and old alike, let’s sing
Our God has opened Heaven’s Gate
Unto and through his blessed Son

God is Great!

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And I say that to each and everyone who is reading!

A Poem for Dong Bang Shin Ki

Changmin crying and being hugged by the hyungs and Yunho hugging just about everyone else

Loud chanting of Cassiopeia “Changmin, don’t cry!” and “Dong Bang Shin Ki!” near the end

So much emotions coursed through my veins after seeing this which was aired just yesterday, I think. Seeing their tears, both visible and hidden ones, inspired me to write this poem.

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To Dong Bang Shin Ki…

I see your tears and melt away…
Worries aside, we’re here to stay.
Be gone, your doubts, and hear us chant
     your name. Our hearts nobody shan’t
          take hold because to you we cast
               our loyalty, our love, our hearts.
We’re here for you, we always will
     support you through your darkest ’til
          you reach the stars above the sky,
          We promise we will help you fly.
So wipe away your tears and smile
and hear us sing our song to you:
“The Rising Five will never die
because our love will never, too!”
So, rest assured, just do your best,
and trust us all to do the rest.
Our Micky, U-Know, Xiah, Max
     and Hero, fans never forget!

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

Truly a passionate group filled with emotions that move their every fan. The bond between DBSK and Cassiopeia is one of the sweetest artist-fan relationship I’ve ever seen. They are really like two lovers.

This is why I love this group.

=)

For Real

Sigh… Depressing week, eh? T_T

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This Time for Real

This time, I’ll try to say goodbye
To all the days I’ve spent with you.
I know when it pass I won’t cry
‘cause I have set my love to die.
And just in case my heart forgets,
Though I would doubt it ever will,
Just keep in mind, there was a time
That there was once a love to kill.
I can’t keep on, it’s hard to breath.
I’m sorry love, I have to leave.
I must forget, I must move on
And teach myself to walk alone.
I close my eyes and walk away.
I’m sorry love, but I can’t stay.

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Sigh… Oh, the pain of unrequited love and weak self-control! The consequences as not so pleasant. I feel like drowning myself with orange juice (’cause I’m still underage and alcohol is off limits)!

I wonder what would happen if I truly suffer a break-up from a relationship?

SmileyBunny: *snorts* You’re such a drama queen.

Time is Cruel

This is me being all emo…ish.

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Time will come when I have to say goodbye…
Give up my freedom, my passion, my obsession, my happiness–
Those things associated with my youth,
 the only things I am myself –
I have to give them up in order to survive.

I have to drop my fantasies, my ideas,
 my pen…
And exchange them for reality, knowledge,
 and brain.
I have to leave my imagination, my creativity,
 my art…
In exchange for logic, complexity,
 and point.
I have to kill my obsession, my music,
 my smile…
In exchange for unattachment, tension,
 and seriousness.
The things that I love to do, I have to leave behind.
Things that make me happy, I have to ignore.
All for my future, their future, tomorrow
 and years to come.
I’m afraid to leave my present, I wish to go back to the past.
Will leaving yesterday behind be worth it?
What if tomorrow never comes?

If I leave them behind, those things that make me, me…
Can I ever be myself again?
Can I rekindle my passion? My dreams? My fantasies?
 The things that I’ve set to kill?

I have no choice. I must do it.
I must grow  up and be strong..
For my future, for their future. Tomorrow
 and the years to come.
I can’t go against it. It’s unstoppable.
Time waits for no one. Time is cruel.

‘Tis for me. Everything is.
To give up my present happiness for future
 happiness.
Because the future is bleak, unpredictable
 and full of rocks.
I have to not stumble, I have to not fall.
I have so much on my shoulders, I have to
 be strong.
I have to prepare now. It’s now or never.
To make it less painful, to make tomorrow better.
If I will ever see tomorrow, I have to be prepared.
I have to sacrifice, I have to give up.

Make my heart strong, my mind determined.
I have to grow wiser, I have to change.
It’s painful to leave, and scary, too.
But I have no choice. Time waits for no one.
Like a strong river current, no one can go against it.
Time is cruel.

My pen, my art, my smile…
How I wish I could keep it with me.

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MORAL LESSON: Never trust myself alone with a pen and paper whenever I am in a dark mood. x)

Someday

Remember my poem “A Friend’s Farewell” that I said I turned into a song about a year ago? Well, as a result of severe procrastination of studying and a request from my friend Jhen, I recorded it and uploaded it in Youtube. Here it is, entitled “Someday”…

Lyrics:

Someday (by Maria Erika D. Enriquez)

I always knew there will be a time for us to say goodbye
Here on Earth, everything’s ought to change
Even our friendship will fade out soon
It’s hard to admit, but it’s true

I know that if I go away today
Nothing will ever be the same for us again
But I’ll never forget the memories
And the dreams we share

That when we meet again someday
Even if we never could bring back the broken bond forever
We can still make a better bond, greater and stronger
We’d still be best of friends till the end of the end
I’ll wait…

My mind is young and unrefined, my heart frail and weak
I don’t really understand things so sharp and sleek
But let me tell you how you made me understand
How you made my narrow and child-bounded mind expand

You hold a part of me that I can’t live without
You made me see what life is all about
You’re not the perfect person all around
You’re not the perfect friend who never makes a sound

But I don’t care, I love you and that’s what matters now
I do not even need to make out a promise or a vow
You may not be the nicest nor the strongest one around
But you help me stand up when I fall on the ground
Tall and proud

Together we’ve been traveling in this long road of life
But here comes a point where the road’s been cut by a knife
The once one way had been divided by a cross
I don’t want to part but in this life I’m not boss

Before I step inside that metal bird
Before I finish packing up my jeans and shirts
Before I step outside the borders of our home
I have to make sure that you won’t feel alone

I can’t come back at once when you start to cry
Nor will I be there to boost you up when you become too shy
Just remember that you’ll never be alone
Even if I’m far away, in your heart I’m home

….Again someday…
Even if we never could bring back the broken bond forever
We can still make a better bond, greater and stronger
We’d still be best of friends till the end of the end
I know we’ll meet again someday
Even if we never could bring back the times we’re not together
I know you’ll wait for me and someday I’d be back
We’d still be best of friends till the end of the end
We’d drink beer, eat and laugh and I’ll never sing this song again
Someday
I’ll wait for that day
When we’re together again
I’m gonna be waiting for it
Waiting for it
Waiting for it…

It’s actually my fifth take and I still messed up a few lines, and my voice also cracked (how embarrassing…). But, yeah…

Dedicated to Boyle and Archimedes batch 2007  and the other graduating classes to come.

=)

Conan’s Midnight Reflections

Last week, as I was digging through the unorganized stack of papers full of unfinished story drafts, scratches, sketches and pointless doodles (all courtesy of yours truly), I’ve found this long poem I’ve written less than a year ago, so I thought why not share it?

(you can skip this if you want…)

First of all, befor anything else, I have to confesss that before I entered the DBSK fandom, I was a die-hard anime fan. My friends called me “the Anime Addict.” I specially became obsessed with Detective Conan, and soon discovered the wonders of fan fictions. Through fan fiction authors, I got to really understand the depth of Shinichi Kudo a.k.a Conan’s character, his pain, longings, frusrations and regrets. I found it really fun to step into the depths of his mind and see things from his point of view, and I think that is what inspired me to write this poem.

Conan/Shinichi

 

 

Ran and Shinichi

 This is the picture Conan will be talking about in the poem…

 

Shinichi Kudo was a 17-year-old famous highly intelligent high school detective who’s got it all; rich parents, popularity, obsessed fangirls, budding career, and his best friend Ran who he’s secretly inlove with. One day, he runs across the deadly BLACK ORGANIZATION who made him take a poison to kill him. In a twisted turn of events, the poison shrunk him into a 7-year-old instead. Fearing that the organization will kill him and everyone involved with him, he adopts the kid image and hides his real identity. Now, under cover as Conan Edogaoa, kid detective, he’s on the hunt to find out and throw to jail those behind the deadly Black organization and find a cure to revert his body back to normal.

~~~~~||~~~~~

Conan’s Midnight Reflections

As I climb up the wooden stairs of your cemented house
Just right after a glass of milk to try to help me douse
the helplessness inside of  me that keeps sleep miles away,
I suddenly hear you call my name and desperately say:

“Please, Shinichi, hurry home. I just miss you too much!”
I peek inside your room and see my picture in your touch.
“I love you and I miss you and I long see your face!
Oh, hi Conan! Can’t sleep too, huh? Come here beside my place!”

Despite my said intelligence, I do not know what to say
This isn’t just a normal crime that I solve everyday.
I am not even myself in your eyes anyway.
I am so close to you and yet so very far away.

I long to say those three sweet words I yearn to let you know.
But I can’t because I’m trapped in a body I hate so.
And so I’m forced to tell you lies and hide behind a mask.
To keep you safe is my responsibility and task.

It hurts me so to see you cry about me every night,
And in the morning act so happy with a smile too bright.
You should know your eyes betray the sadness that you hide.
All I can do is stay and just be always by your side.

There are times when I get tired and want to spill the truth,
But everytime I try, my tongue gets tied, my mouth won’t move.
I hate to see you hurt, but if I tell, it could get worse.
I’ll hate it more if one day I find out that you’re a corpse.

(Sigh) There you go again, crying out my name.
I am right here beside you, but so distant just the same.
I hold you tight and tell you: “Worry not, he’ll soon be back.”
The irony of leaving you and leaving me behind!

Another day, another lie. When will all these end?
I hide myself behind this mask and in the crowd I blend.
The more I stay trapped in this body, more I lose myself.
The more you wait and cry, then there I go and lie again.

I’m sick and tired of all of these, but then what can I do?
I wish these are nightmares, but then again it’s very true.
I cannot wake from reality, this is no dream at all.
You are you, but I’m not me. I’ve never felt so small.

The distant past when you and I were happy and together
Seems like a distant dream right now, so painful to remember…
I wonder what the future holds for me? For you? For us?
Will it be bright? Will it be clear? Or simply turn to dust?

Back then I beam with pride with you beside me, face to face.
You and I were best of friends, you’ve kept me in my place.
And tell you what you didn’t know, I was inlove with you.
But never got to tell ’cause fate separated us two.

I am here, still inlove, I wish you could just see
How glad I was when you said that you were inlove with me!
But with this cursed poison flowing through my bloody veins,
I cannot tell you what I feel for fear you’ll die with me.

My over-confidence betrayed me. Arrogance as well.
Taken in what I can’t chew, I couldn’t even tell.
I should’ve minded my own business, or just called for help.
My first encounter with the Black, the only time I failed.

Look at me, Ran, look at me and tell me what you see.
A shrunken child with big eye glasses’ all that’s left of me.
Ten years of my perfect life has suddenly been erased.
It’s due to my own ignorance, so ends the happy days.

Dying would’ve been better that shrinking ten years back,
Concealing my identity and hiding from the Black,
Hurting everyone I hold so dear and close to me.
If I had died, you wouldn’t hut, and They would let you be.

Turn away, Ran, Turn away. I don’t want you to see
That the litltle child with big eye glasses’ really me.
To you I am a child of seven fit to be your brother.
If you look deeper, you will see the real me, your lover…

I love you so much I could die, Ran, if you only knew
How much it kills my heart to see you cry. What should I do?
“Big sister, worry not. I know that someday he’ll come back,”
Is what I say not knowing if it’s really even true.

“Have faith, Ran,” you tell yourself, “He will come back to you.
You are right, litte Conan, I know that he will too.
I do not care how long it will take, I will wait for him.
Let’s go to sleep, now,” you tell me and I see your face beam.

I feel so weak and helpless, Ran, but how you make me strong.
My mind and heart gets refreshed ’cause I know you’re never wrong.
Someday, we’ll be back together, you and me for real.
No more lies and pain, I’ll tell you how I really feel.

When I get my freedom back, there’s no doubt what I’ll do–
Swallow every pride I’ve got and go straight to you,
Tell you every lies that I’ve been keeping for so long,
And waste no time to tell you that I’ve loved you all along!

I won’t blame you if you hate me for secrets I have kept.
I’d still be here watching over you as you wake up or sleep.
I won’t stop loving you and dreaming ’bout you every night.
Even if you stop loving me, you hold my heart tight.

But if you accept me after the truth is revealed,
I swear I’ll never leave again even if I get killed.
No more tears will ever touch your rosy cheeks again.
I’ll die for your happiness, I’ll do everything I can.

If I can never go back to my old self again…
I hold you to no promises, get back your freedom then.
Love another man, you deserve better than I do.
I won’t object, though I’d be really hurt for losing you.

Torment yourself no more, my love, I deserve all that.
Close your eyes and rest tonight, while in my room I sat.
Go to sleep and hope, my love, and dream of us tonight,
For I’ll do my best to again hold you in my arms tight.

~~~~~||~~~~~

Okay, that was exhausting.

Other notes: I really like Ran’s character better that any other leading ladies in anime. She’s kind and gentle, and at the same time fierce and independent. Oh, and she’s a SCARY karate champion. She can kick bad guys’ butt in a second!

Oh, yeah!

A Friend’s Farewell

Sigh.

Today is one of those depressing days when loneliness creeps to the depths of my heart (lol, dramatic much?) and make me realize how I terribly miss my friends. So I thought of sharing a poem I wrote more than a year ago, months before migrating from Philipppines to US.

Here it goes…

A Friend’s Farewell

I always knew there will be a time for us to say goodbye.

Here on earth, nothing is permanent except change.

Even our friendship will fade out soon.

It’s hard to accept, but it’s the truth.

 

I know the fact that once our bond is broken,

Nothing will ever be the same again.

But I’ll never forget that one time,

You’ve been part of my reality.

 

And I’ll continue to live on the memories

With the ultimate dream that we both share.

That when we meet again someday,

Even if we are incapable of bringing back the broken bond forever,

We can still make a better bond, greater…

Stronger…

That so long life preserves it,

That only death can break it,

That every man will realize

What friendship is all about.

 

My mind is young and unrefined, and my heart frail and weak.

My understanding of things is not so sharp nor sleek.

But let me tell you, my friend, how you made me understand,

That being part of someone’s life’s an experience truly grand.

 

 

You may not be the perfect friend nor person all around.

But you help me up with your hand when I fall on the ground.

And that is enough reason why I like you just the same.

It’s just a common fact that without you, I’d go insane.

 

 

And so my friend, before I end this message just for you,

I want to thank you so much for all the things you do.

I am thankful for all the things you made me understand.

I thank you so for making my child-bounded mind expand.

 

 

I thank you for accepting me just because I’m me.

I thank you for not requiring rewards or any fee.

But the greatest thank you I can say in the end,

Is this: Thank you for being there for me, my trusted friend.

 

 

We’ve been traveling together in this long road of life.

But here we come to a vexing point where the road’s been cut by a knife.

Today, the once one way had been divided by a cross.

I wish we don’t have to part, but in this life, I’m not Boss.

 

And so before I step outside the borders of our home,

I want to make sure that you will never feel alone.

It’s impossible for me to come to you whenever you cry,

Nor will I be there to boost you up when you become too shy.

 

So remember this, my friend, you will never be alone.

Even if I’m far away, in your heart I’m home.

 

The actual poem I wrote in my notebook took three whole pages back-to-back (yeah, it’s that long). And I don’t have the patience to type all of it, so I just selected some of the best parts and put it here.

 

Mushy, corny (whatever you call it), surprisingly, I don’t care. I just miss my friends. I miss hanging out with them, I miss chilling out with them, I miss hearing them scream in my ears, I miss them being the reason I have no food, I miss heart-to-heart talks with them (corny, I know), I miss being mercilessly tortured and teased, I miss squealing whenever a cute guy passes by, I miss copying their homework whenever I forgot to do mine, I miss pushing each other off to get a turn on the hammock, I miss eating Indian Mangoes dipped in soysauce and sugar, I miss singing our lungs out whenever a favorite song is palying… I just miss everything.

 

Sigh. I wonder how they’re doing?

 

You guys, any members of the “KIDS Friendship Association,” or my classmates from Archimedes and Boyle batch 2007 who happens to drop by and read this blog, I just want to say I miss you guys, and take care.

 

God bless everyone.

 

~*EDIT*~

 

I forgot to mention that I actually made this poem into a song consisting of ten stanzas (all different from each other) and four chords played repeatatively.