Secret Christmas Message

Find the not-so-secret message hidden within the poem =)

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May this season never end
Enticing memories of this occasion
Rhyming words this letter send
Ring the bells of joyful Christmas
Yonder gates of singing men

Come and sing a merry song
He, today, has been born
Rest your minds ‘bout evil thoughts
In His arms is where you belong
Safe are you from rising pain
‘Til peace of your mind be gained
Much awaited season is here
A time to give love to those who’re dear, and
Sick, and people living in fear

‘Tis the season to be joyful
Oh, come all, let’s celebrate

Young and old alike, let’s sing
Our God has opened Heaven’s Gate
Unto and through his blessed Son

God is Great!

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And I say that to each and everyone who is reading!

A Poem for Dong Bang Shin Ki

Changmin crying and being hugged by the hyungs and Yunho hugging just about everyone else

Loud chanting of Cassiopeia “Changmin, don’t cry!” and “Dong Bang Shin Ki!” near the end

So much emotions coursed through my veins after seeing this which was aired just yesterday, I think. Seeing their tears, both visible and hidden ones, inspired me to write this poem.

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To Dong Bang Shin Ki…

I see your tears and melt away…
Worries aside, we’re here to stay.
Be gone, your doubts, and hear us chant
     your name. Our hearts nobody shan’t
          take hold because to you we cast
               our loyalty, our love, our hearts.
We’re here for you, we always will
     support you through your darkest ’til
          you reach the stars above the sky,
          We promise we will help you fly.
So wipe away your tears and smile
and hear us sing our song to you:
“The Rising Five will never die
because our love will never, too!”
So, rest assured, just do your best,
and trust us all to do the rest.
Our Micky, U-Know, Xiah, Max
     and Hero, fans never forget!

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Truly a passionate group filled with emotions that move their every fan. The bond between DBSK and Cassiopeia is one of the sweetest artist-fan relationship I’ve ever seen. They are really like two lovers.

This is why I love this group.

=)

For Real

Sigh… Depressing week, eh? T_T

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This Time for Real

This time, I’ll try to say goodbye
To all the days I’ve spent with you.
I know when it pass I won’t cry
‘cause I have set my love to die.
And just in case my heart forgets,
Though I would doubt it ever will,
Just keep in mind, there was a time
That there was once a love to kill.
I can’t keep on, it’s hard to breath.
I’m sorry love, I have to leave.
I must forget, I must move on
And teach myself to walk alone.
I close my eyes and walk away.
I’m sorry love, but I can’t stay.

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Sigh… Oh, the pain of unrequited love and weak self-control! The consequences as not so pleasant. I feel like drowning myself with orange juice (’cause I’m still underage and alcohol is off limits)!

I wonder what would happen if I truly suffer a break-up from a relationship?

SmileyBunny: *snorts* You’re such a drama queen.

Time is Cruel

This is me being all emo…ish.

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Time will come when I have to say goodbye…
Give up my freedom, my passion, my obsession, my happiness–
Those things associated with my youth,
 the only things I am myself –
I have to give them up in order to survive.

I have to drop my fantasies, my ideas,
 my pen…
And exchange them for reality, knowledge,
 and brain.
I have to leave my imagination, my creativity,
 my art…
In exchange for logic, complexity,
 and point.
I have to kill my obsession, my music,
 my smile…
In exchange for unattachment, tension,
 and seriousness.
The things that I love to do, I have to leave behind.
Things that make me happy, I have to ignore.
All for my future, their future, tomorrow
 and years to come.
I’m afraid to leave my present, I wish to go back to the past.
Will leaving yesterday behind be worth it?
What if tomorrow never comes?

If I leave them behind, those things that make me, me…
Can I ever be myself again?
Can I rekindle my passion? My dreams? My fantasies?
 The things that I’ve set to kill?

I have no choice. I must do it.
I must grow  up and be strong..
For my future, for their future. Tomorrow
 and the years to come.
I can’t go against it. It’s unstoppable.
Time waits for no one. Time is cruel.

‘Tis for me. Everything is.
To give up my present happiness for future
 happiness.
Because the future is bleak, unpredictable
 and full of rocks.
I have to not stumble, I have to not fall.
I have so much on my shoulders, I have to
 be strong.
I have to prepare now. It’s now or never.
To make it less painful, to make tomorrow better.
If I will ever see tomorrow, I have to be prepared.
I have to sacrifice, I have to give up.

Make my heart strong, my mind determined.
I have to grow wiser, I have to change.
It’s painful to leave, and scary, too.
But I have no choice. Time waits for no one.
Like a strong river current, no one can go against it.
Time is cruel.

My pen, my art, my smile…
How I wish I could keep it with me.

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MORAL LESSON: Never trust myself alone with a pen and paper whenever I am in a dark mood. x)

Rantings : GROW UP, PLEASE?

Dear Erie,

Who knew that the world would be full of haters who have nothing else better to do than to… hate? Really, it’s disturbing how some people could hate other people they don’t even know, so much that they wish those people to just die or drop dead. Hey, I’m not a saint or an angel, but come on! I value life and would never even think of killing off a person, much less a person who didn’t do anything to me! Every human has a right to live, no matter how evil… okay, maybe not the vile, evil ones who has absolutely no heart or conscience whatsoever (but would such person really exist?). Only God has the right to take away the life of someone.

So, why suddenly post about all this? Well, yesterday at about 11 PM, I’ve just completed an assignment about “Interdependence” and Bill Clinton stating about how interdepence would make the 21st century the most memorable and peaceful era (or something like that). Which is fairly true, I thought. If people learn to cooperate, then they will realize that everyone is of equal importance and that no one is greater than the other. We would learn to accept one abother and avoid disputes and global wars. I thought this was pretty good and insightful.

And so, after completing the assignment, I decided to visit one of my favorite blogs (I’m not going to mention the name). There was a recent article concerning about two groups competing for an award in this particular music station (again, I’m not going to mention all the names or details). In the end, the group with the more experience won. I was feeling pretty happy because it was my most favored group. So I browsed through the comment board expecting to see the happy reactions of my fellow fans and maybe some sore loser comments…

You know what I saw? Extreme bashing and totally racist comments. And I mean EXTREME and TOTALLY RACIST! Let me demonstrate:

Commenter 1: That group totally SUCK! They just won because they probably payed off the awards show! They should just go die!

Commenter 2: STFU! They won because they’re talented! Not like you! Go die!

Commenter 3: Stupid biased fans like you are deaf! You call that ‘talented?’ They’re nothing but useless GAY lypsincers! They make my ears bleed! GAY GAY GAY! Keep denying you little brats!

Commenter 4: You (insert a random nationality here) fans make us (insert random nationality here) fans look bad! You the bad people! Not us! We hate you! Your country bad bad bad! Full of fat people! GO burn to death!

Commenter 5: I’M GONNA RAPE YOU ALL (insert random nationality here)!

Note: This is not the real comments that I’ve read. The real comments are a thousand times worse.

What in the world…!? RETARDED, right!?! (Sorry for my choice of words, but I just need to get it out of my system). What are they, three-year-olds?!? Oh, I’n not saying that three-year-old kids are morbid (kids are precious and lovable and pure!)! But the people who posted these kinds of comments are grown-ups who act like spoiled brats. It’s immature, ridiculous and downright disturbing!

What they were arguing about is completely pointless! It’s just a music awards show, for goodness sake! To go as far as cursing a whole country shows how immature and racist they are. There are more important issues in the world! War in Iraq, world hunger, heck, the Economy! Why bash a whole country just because of one group winning an award!? What’s the connection!?

I know the world isn’t all rainbows and butterflies and some may think that I’m just making a fool out of myself because this is not uncommon. Yes, these kinds of morbid comments are widespread across the web. Honestly, I’ve come across several of these in the past, but I ignored them because it was just ridiculous and were only one or two, but these… Those comments above come in every comment made in that article. Everytime I read a comment, I had to wince and say “OUCH!” even if it’s not directed to me. I know I shouldn’t be taking these kinds of comments seriously. But these guys need to see a psychiatrist real bad. I’m serious. Either they are mentally unstabe people or just attention-seekers who have nothing else better to do than start wars.

Where has respect gone to? Goodness? Kindness? Consideration? Justice? Rationality? Morals? I can’t help but think about the downside of the Internet and freedom of speech. People can say things that would make their mothers wash their mouths rigorously with soap (or in this case, acid), and they don’t have to fear anything because they’re in the safety of their own house. It’s not like they would get beat up or get in jail or something.

You know what all these make me want to do? Compose a song. Yeah, that’s right. Compose a song that would pierce through the hearts of every person of this world and would make them think twice about their actions, mend their ways and forget about all the hate in the world. I know it’s a nearly impossible feat. Scratch that. It’s an IMPOSSIBLE feat. People differ in preference and taste. And it’s not like I’m a genius composer. But I’m gonna try anyway. Maybe not now, maybe not later. Maybe never, but I’m still going to try to write something. In cases like this, it’s important to think positive, think positive! I can do this. I can. I can.

Spread the LOVE, people! Hate gets you nowhere! It only gets you wrinkles!

Truly yours,

Meriken

P.S. Sorry I haven’t appeared in such a long time. School’s not going the way I wanted it to and DBSK’s comeback really took a lot of my time in Youtube. And the dear Erie above, I don’t know how to start so I just included the name of my Private Journal. And yes, this is an entry on my private journal, where I write things that doesn’t make sense in the spur of the moment.

Peace out!

Just Sneaking Around…

Okay, right now I’m in a violation of my contract (something I made to help me concentrate on studying this week) to refrain using the internet for non-educational purposes and avoid visiting all the sites that I like (blogs, Friendster, Youtube and fanfiction sites) from today up to Saturday because I have a ten-page research paper due this Friday (I’ve only finished three pages… T_T)and a test in Biology this Saturday. Each violation will result on a 2-day restriction next week fom the computer, my story notebooks and my sketch pad. And I’ve violated 2 rules… T_T

But I just have to share this song…

 

Credits for  the video and translation to DiruGirl @ youtube.com

“Kiss Shita Mama Sayonara” by the one and only DBSK (or TVXQ, or Tohoshinki, whatever you want to call them…). Two of the members, Yoochun and Jaejoong composed it.

While listening to instrumental versions of their songs to help me relax when studying, I stumled upon the instrumental of this song, and boy, did the melody give me goosebumps, especially the chorus! I can’t believe I ignored this song just because the title didn’t sound appealing to me! What the heck was I thinking?!

Oh, well. I’m just going to enjoy the song.

*listens and daydreams.. err… nightdreams since it’s 8:36 pm*

Man, Yoochun is a musical genius!

~EDIT~

DBSK’s 4th Korean Album “Mirotic”  is almost out. I though I’d never like that song, but strangely it’s stuck in my head all day… I guess I like it then…

Someday

Remember my poem “A Friend’s Farewell” that I said I turned into a song about a year ago? Well, as a result of severe procrastination of studying and a request from my friend Jhen, I recorded it and uploaded it in Youtube. Here it is, entitled “Someday”…

Lyrics:

Someday (by Maria Erika D. Enriquez)

I always knew there will be a time for us to say goodbye
Here on Earth, everything’s ought to change
Even our friendship will fade out soon
It’s hard to admit, but it’s true

I know that if I go away today
Nothing will ever be the same for us again
But I’ll never forget the memories
And the dreams we share

That when we meet again someday
Even if we never could bring back the broken bond forever
We can still make a better bond, greater and stronger
We’d still be best of friends till the end of the end
I’ll wait…

My mind is young and unrefined, my heart frail and weak
I don’t really understand things so sharp and sleek
But let me tell you how you made me understand
How you made my narrow and child-bounded mind expand

You hold a part of me that I can’t live without
You made me see what life is all about
You’re not the perfect person all around
You’re not the perfect friend who never makes a sound

But I don’t care, I love you and that’s what matters now
I do not even need to make out a promise or a vow
You may not be the nicest nor the strongest one around
But you help me stand up when I fall on the ground
Tall and proud

Together we’ve been traveling in this long road of life
But here comes a point where the road’s been cut by a knife
The once one way had been divided by a cross
I don’t want to part but in this life I’m not boss

Before I step inside that metal bird
Before I finish packing up my jeans and shirts
Before I step outside the borders of our home
I have to make sure that you won’t feel alone

I can’t come back at once when you start to cry
Nor will I be there to boost you up when you become too shy
Just remember that you’ll never be alone
Even if I’m far away, in your heart I’m home

….Again someday…
Even if we never could bring back the broken bond forever
We can still make a better bond, greater and stronger
We’d still be best of friends till the end of the end
I know we’ll meet again someday
Even if we never could bring back the times we’re not together
I know you’ll wait for me and someday I’d be back
We’d still be best of friends till the end of the end
We’d drink beer, eat and laugh and I’ll never sing this song again
Someday
I’ll wait for that day
When we’re together again
I’m gonna be waiting for it
Waiting for it
Waiting for it…

It’s actually my fifth take and I still messed up a few lines, and my voice also cracked (how embarrassing…). But, yeah…

Dedicated to Boyle and Archimedes batch 2007  and the other graduating classes to come.

=)

Boat Chronicles 2

The storm had subsided, but had gotten back with a vengeance. It hits our ship’s two founding masts. Panicked has struck us all. While one of the masts stood unmoved and strong against the winds, the other mast is starting to give out. It’s falling down, collapsing. It has reached its breaking point.

What more can we do?

Conan’s Midnight Reflections

Last week, as I was digging through the unorganized stack of papers full of unfinished story drafts, scratches, sketches and pointless doodles (all courtesy of yours truly), I’ve found this long poem I’ve written less than a year ago, so I thought why not share it?

(you can skip this if you want…)

First of all, befor anything else, I have to confesss that before I entered the DBSK fandom, I was a die-hard anime fan. My friends called me “the Anime Addict.” I specially became obsessed with Detective Conan, and soon discovered the wonders of fan fictions. Through fan fiction authors, I got to really understand the depth of Shinichi Kudo a.k.a Conan’s character, his pain, longings, frusrations and regrets. I found it really fun to step into the depths of his mind and see things from his point of view, and I think that is what inspired me to write this poem.

Conan/Shinichi

 

 

Ran and Shinichi

 This is the picture Conan will be talking about in the poem…

 

Shinichi Kudo was a 17-year-old famous highly intelligent high school detective who’s got it all; rich parents, popularity, obsessed fangirls, budding career, and his best friend Ran who he’s secretly inlove with. One day, he runs across the deadly BLACK ORGANIZATION who made him take a poison to kill him. In a twisted turn of events, the poison shrunk him into a 7-year-old instead. Fearing that the organization will kill him and everyone involved with him, he adopts the kid image and hides his real identity. Now, under cover as Conan Edogaoa, kid detective, he’s on the hunt to find out and throw to jail those behind the deadly Black organization and find a cure to revert his body back to normal.

~~~~~||~~~~~

Conan’s Midnight Reflections

As I climb up the wooden stairs of your cemented house
Just right after a glass of milk to try to help me douse
the helplessness inside of  me that keeps sleep miles away,
I suddenly hear you call my name and desperately say:

“Please, Shinichi, hurry home. I just miss you too much!”
I peek inside your room and see my picture in your touch.
“I love you and I miss you and I long see your face!
Oh, hi Conan! Can’t sleep too, huh? Come here beside my place!”

Despite my said intelligence, I do not know what to say
This isn’t just a normal crime that I solve everyday.
I am not even myself in your eyes anyway.
I am so close to you and yet so very far away.

I long to say those three sweet words I yearn to let you know.
But I can’t because I’m trapped in a body I hate so.
And so I’m forced to tell you lies and hide behind a mask.
To keep you safe is my responsibility and task.

It hurts me so to see you cry about me every night,
And in the morning act so happy with a smile too bright.
You should know your eyes betray the sadness that you hide.
All I can do is stay and just be always by your side.

There are times when I get tired and want to spill the truth,
But everytime I try, my tongue gets tied, my mouth won’t move.
I hate to see you hurt, but if I tell, it could get worse.
I’ll hate it more if one day I find out that you’re a corpse.

(Sigh) There you go again, crying out my name.
I am right here beside you, but so distant just the same.
I hold you tight and tell you: “Worry not, he’ll soon be back.”
The irony of leaving you and leaving me behind!

Another day, another lie. When will all these end?
I hide myself behind this mask and in the crowd I blend.
The more I stay trapped in this body, more I lose myself.
The more you wait and cry, then there I go and lie again.

I’m sick and tired of all of these, but then what can I do?
I wish these are nightmares, but then again it’s very true.
I cannot wake from reality, this is no dream at all.
You are you, but I’m not me. I’ve never felt so small.

The distant past when you and I were happy and together
Seems like a distant dream right now, so painful to remember…
I wonder what the future holds for me? For you? For us?
Will it be bright? Will it be clear? Or simply turn to dust?

Back then I beam with pride with you beside me, face to face.
You and I were best of friends, you’ve kept me in my place.
And tell you what you didn’t know, I was inlove with you.
But never got to tell ’cause fate separated us two.

I am here, still inlove, I wish you could just see
How glad I was when you said that you were inlove with me!
But with this cursed poison flowing through my bloody veins,
I cannot tell you what I feel for fear you’ll die with me.

My over-confidence betrayed me. Arrogance as well.
Taken in what I can’t chew, I couldn’t even tell.
I should’ve minded my own business, or just called for help.
My first encounter with the Black, the only time I failed.

Look at me, Ran, look at me and tell me what you see.
A shrunken child with big eye glasses’ all that’s left of me.
Ten years of my perfect life has suddenly been erased.
It’s due to my own ignorance, so ends the happy days.

Dying would’ve been better that shrinking ten years back,
Concealing my identity and hiding from the Black,
Hurting everyone I hold so dear and close to me.
If I had died, you wouldn’t hut, and They would let you be.

Turn away, Ran, Turn away. I don’t want you to see
That the litltle child with big eye glasses’ really me.
To you I am a child of seven fit to be your brother.
If you look deeper, you will see the real me, your lover…

I love you so much I could die, Ran, if you only knew
How much it kills my heart to see you cry. What should I do?
“Big sister, worry not. I know that someday he’ll come back,”
Is what I say not knowing if it’s really even true.

“Have faith, Ran,” you tell yourself, “He will come back to you.
You are right, litte Conan, I know that he will too.
I do not care how long it will take, I will wait for him.
Let’s go to sleep, now,” you tell me and I see your face beam.

I feel so weak and helpless, Ran, but how you make me strong.
My mind and heart gets refreshed ’cause I know you’re never wrong.
Someday, we’ll be back together, you and me for real.
No more lies and pain, I’ll tell you how I really feel.

When I get my freedom back, there’s no doubt what I’ll do–
Swallow every pride I’ve got and go straight to you,
Tell you every lies that I’ve been keeping for so long,
And waste no time to tell you that I’ve loved you all along!

I won’t blame you if you hate me for secrets I have kept.
I’d still be here watching over you as you wake up or sleep.
I won’t stop loving you and dreaming ’bout you every night.
Even if you stop loving me, you hold my heart tight.

But if you accept me after the truth is revealed,
I swear I’ll never leave again even if I get killed.
No more tears will ever touch your rosy cheeks again.
I’ll die for your happiness, I’ll do everything I can.

If I can never go back to my old self again…
I hold you to no promises, get back your freedom then.
Love another man, you deserve better than I do.
I won’t object, though I’d be really hurt for losing you.

Torment yourself no more, my love, I deserve all that.
Close your eyes and rest tonight, while in my room I sat.
Go to sleep and hope, my love, and dream of us tonight,
For I’ll do my best to again hold you in my arms tight.

~~~~~||~~~~~

Okay, that was exhausting.

Other notes: I really like Ran’s character better that any other leading ladies in anime. She’s kind and gentle, and at the same time fierce and independent. Oh, and she’s a SCARY karate champion. She can kick bad guys’ butt in a second!

Oh, yeah!

Beware of Good Fan Fictions…

They’re addicting, I tell you. Dangerously addicting.

And now, I’m in trouble.

Last night, as I was browsing through Winglin (my most visited fan fiction site), I caught sight of a fanfiction entitled “The Unkindest Cut of All.” I’ve been seeing it for a few months now, but never really bothered to pay attention to it. Now, since it was 8:35 pm, I don’t do my school work till around 10, and I was bored at that moment, I clicked to it.

Dang, had I been hooked.

It was a fiction story about DBSK’s (who else would I be reading about?) Jaejoong and a fictional character. It really caught my attention that I just kept reading, and reading, and reading some more. 10:30 passed, then 12:00. Every chapter I clicked I promised it was the last one. But I still kept reading, and reading…

And reading some more. I kept reading throughout the night. I kept reading till morning.

I only stopped when I saw the clock. And it said 5:00 am.

Boy, does time fly?

I’ve only slept two hours today, and I’m really sleepy right now. But I can’t sleep yet, because I haven’t yet finished the four essays due tomorrow at my English class, I haven’t yet reviewed for my SFC quiz tomorrow, AND I haven’t even read the discussion board for my SFC class tomorrow.

I am so in trouble. So in SOOOO much trouble.

Sigh.

This is going to be a looooong night…