Time is Cruel


This is me being all emo…ish.

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Time will come when I have to say goodbye…
Give up my freedom, my passion, my obsession, my happiness–
Those things associated with my youth,
 the only things I am myself —
I have to give them up in order to survive.

I have to drop my fantasies, my ideas,
 my pen…
And exchange them for reality, knowledge,
 and brain.
I have to leave my imagination, my creativity,
 my art…
In exchange for logic, complexity,
 and point.
I have to kill my obsession, my music,
 my smile…
In exchange for unattachment, tension,
 and seriousness.
The things that I love to do, I have to leave behind.
Things that make me happy, I have to ignore.
All for my future, their future, tomorrow
 and years to come.
I’m afraid to leave my present, I wish to go back to the past.
Will leaving yesterday behind be worth it?
What if tomorrow never comes?

If I leave them behind, those things that make me, me…
Can I ever be myself again?
Can I rekindle my passion? My dreams? My fantasies?
 The things that I’ve set to kill?

I have no choice. I must do it.
I must grow  up and be strong..
For my future, for their future. Tomorrow
 and the years to come.
I can’t go against it. It’s unstoppable.
Time waits for no one. Time is cruel.

‘Tis for me. Everything is.
To give up my present happiness for future
 happiness.
Because the future is bleak, unpredictable
 and full of rocks.
I have to not stumble, I have to not fall.
I have so much on my shoulders, I have to
 be strong.
I have to prepare now. It’s now or never.
To make it less painful, to make tomorrow better.
If I will ever see tomorrow, I have to be prepared.
I have to sacrifice, I have to give up.

Make my heart strong, my mind determined.
I have to grow wiser, I have to change.
It’s painful to leave, and scary, too.
But I have no choice. Time waits for no one.
Like a strong river current, no one can go against it.
Time is cruel.

My pen, my art, my smile…
How I wish I could keep it with me.

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MORAL LESSON: Never trust myself alone with a pen and paper whenever I am in a dark mood. x)

Categories: Poems | Leave a comment

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