I really didn’t want this blog to contain more topics about DBSK than the rest of my life, but what else can I do if the main event of my day is sitting down in front of the computer and watching five guys prance around a stage?
First of all, I want to thank Soompie commenters in the DBSK thread. It always amazes me how news travel fast from half way around the world to where I am. All thanks to dedicated passionate fans.
I’ve been a DBSK fan for exactly two years, and I’m really really really very glad that I came across that very first Youtube video that introduced me to Dong Bang Shin Ki. They have been a very precious part of my life, to some extent I started thinking of them as my only friends during those times when I had been a really depressed teenage immigrant in this strange and foreign country. They didn’t have to talk to me. Their music, their voices, their breathtaking performances, their interactions to each other that painfully reminds me of the friends that I left behind, those things are what spoke to me and made me the fan that I am today.
At first I tried so many times to get out of this fandom. I thought it was useless to think about and care for people who don’t even know you exist. So I read a lot (A WHOLE LOT) of bad comments about them, looked at mistakes they make, every scandal that they caused (which frankly wasn’t many), tried to see them in a bad light… you name it. The strange thing is, I find myself wholly accepting everything. I only found myself falling deeper and deeper.
I’m glad that I did that. I’m the type of person who gets easily swayed by the opinion of others, and now I know that bad comments will never sway me out of liking DBSK. And I’m also glad I did that because now I see them as they really are — flawed humans who make mistakes. I think it’s one of the reasons why I lasted this long even though Iget tired of things really easily. I love DBSK even though I know they’re not THE greatest band in the world, even though I find my next door neighbor hotter than they ever will be (which is saying a lot and is a complete big LIE), even though some (note: SOME) of their live performances aren’t spectacular as I’d like it to be. I like DBSK because, aside from the great musicality they have shown and that I admire so much, they show that they’re far from these perfect little idols that I often see and used to love in animes, but real live human beings that have ups and downs like the rest of us. I will keep loving them as they reach great heights or fall and stumble.
It didn’t help that they have every bit of talent more than enough to rebuke any bad comment that were thrown their way. I have been raised in a musically-inclined family, not to mention a country that has some of the best singers in the world (Regine Velasquez, Leah Salongga, Charice Pempengco, Arnel Pineda, Martin Nieverra, Gary Valenciano and a lot more others. Yes, I’m proud of our local singers), I judge singers by the quality of their live performances compared to studio versions AND vocal prowess, both of which DBSK did not… DOES NOT disappoint. The first time I watched them perform “Rising Sun” LIVE at A-Nation 2006 was the day that cemented my love as a fan. Aside from the amazement and awe at the quality of performance they delivered, something else reached out to me. I think it was the obvious hard work they were putting in their performance… when you see them and you think they are ready to keel over anytime, but instead they continue performing with the same height of energy and excellent voices they started with. Yeah, I think I was done for when I saw that. Their performance radiated of encouragement, of inspiration, though I doubt that anyone would have thought what I thought. And then I learned their history, of the many difficulties they met and how hard they tried and how much they sacrificed to reach where they are now, and I was instantly taken. I started thinking, if they can do it, can’t I, too? It was like I can do whatever I want, reach my dreams if I keep trying hard enough.
When the lawsuit broke and rumors of disbandment grew rampant, I didn’t cry. I just stared at the computer screen and asked myself “Will I eventually forget them?” I don’t EVER want to forget DBSK. I wanted them to still be around when I tell my kids about “this one group of five guys that I still listen to even now that I’m in my mid-30’s… Oh, look, there they are now. Right on the TV. Yeah yeah, I know they’re too old for you, but just listen… See, isn’t that a lot more soothing and better than those thrashy CDs you listen to? That’s real music right there.” I was really afraid they’d disband and I’ll never hear the five voices that I constantly listened to every single day for the past two years, served as inspiration to try harder and never be too sad in life. I even started thinking that when they disband, I want it to hurt so bad. I want my hopes completely crushed so I’d remember exactly the feeling even years and years from now so I’d never forget them, ever. I’ve never had a boyfriend before, never been inlove, so I guess you could compare it to breaking up with a boyfriend. Yeah, quite masochistic of me, but I blame the fact that I tend to easily forget even the most important things I never should.
The months progressed, and so did the discussion of the lawsuit, the same goes for my opinion of the situation and how I want it to end. I wanted Jaejoong, Junsu and Yoochun to win, but I was hesitant of them leaving SME, because I feared that they won’t be as successful as much, that some people will sabotage their new beginnings and DBSK’s name will fade and then I’d never see or hear from them again.
Now, I’m really glad that I decided to visit one of the biggest DBSK forum, Soompi, because now I have new found hopes, seeing all my fellow fans so determined and dedicated. I have no doubt that you guys will do anything to support DBSK. If I was hesitant earlier, now I just want to fly straight to Korea, storm through SME, take DBSK’s hands and pull them out of the company (if that’s what they want) because I know that Cassiopeia, BigEast and International Fans will never ever abandon the five precious guys that stood by us through a lot.
Worst case scenario, if they do disband, or if they lose the lawsuit and all those stuff… well, I wouldn’t know what else to do but continue supporting them in what they want to do.
I love DBSK, their best and their flaws included. I am a fan and I will continue cheering them on till time comes that I can’t anymore.
P.S. I feel bad for Yunho because he was doing so well in HTTG (I’m only on ep. 5 and I’m loving it, unlike some other previous drama before). I hope he doen’t feel disappointed. But guys, remember Japan? They started by performing on measely little stages, and look how far they’ve come now. Named as one of the top artists in Japan. Thay clawed their way in, sweat, blood and tears. In a way, I’m glad of the small ratings. Maybe I’m just being selfish or thinking of this the wrong way especially with the stress and emotional upset that the lawsuit is causing, but I want Yunho to start at the bottom and climb his way to the top, because that way he’ll get the recognition he deserves, not just some sort of hype, and he will get more respected and less criticized, like how they are in Japan right now. But that is only if Yunho is serious about acting.
Even if it doesn’t work out that way, hey, I like it better when he’s leader-ssi of DBSK anyway.