Music

Stop, press play, and listen…

Love in the ice (acoustic cover)


I’ve been meaning to make a cover of this song for years now. I couldn’t find chords in the internet, so I just guessed them. Finally recorded one today. I tried playing the guitar with a pick to make the sound sharper, but I only succeeded on distracting myself and getting lyrics wrong. It’s not the best of covers, and I couldn’t control my voice very well through the high notes. *hides face in embarrassment*

I’m writing my own version with English lyrics. Almost done with it, though whether or not I’ll record it depends if I find time/confidence for it.

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Protected: Woes of a heartbroken fangirl


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Not Yet (self-composed)


This is a song I wrote back in 2010. I finally had the courage to re-record it again after the first video I recorded was stolen along with my first laptop (sob. I still haven’t gotten over that). The lyrics might sound familiar, because they are, and I’ve written the same exact words before in a post here somewhere, which I then decided to turn into a poem. I wasn’t satisfied with it, so I turned it into a song. It was a hard, rough journey filled with frustration and much hair-pulling to get into this (probably lacking) final product.

Not Yet

With one last smile and one last laugh
ou’re leaving without going back
it’s hard to let go when it’s clear
it still remains that thing I fear

you said we’ll always be together
flying high to stars and skies
I’d rather us two fall together
hold my hand, baby, hold my hand

Not yet, not now, I plead and pray
so many words there is to say
and songs to sing, don’t go away
Not yet, not now, if only I
could turn the world around for you
I’ll carry you, I’ll carry you

It’s hard to tell myself it’s alright,
that our days are over
I won’t forget, I’m holding on
look back, look back, don’t go

Not yet, not now, I plead and pray
so words there is to say
and songs to sing, don’t go away
Not yet, not now, if only I
could turn the world around for you
I’ll carry you, I’ll carry you

You promised me forever
What is it but just a word
This essence so deeply imbued
It’s opposite cuts like a sword

Not yet, not now, if only I
could turn the world around for you
I’ll carry you, I’ll carry you

Not yet, not now, I plead and pray
so words there is to say
and songs to sing, don’t go away
Not yet, not now, if only I
could turn the world around for you
I’ll carry you, I’ll carry you
I’ll carry you, I’ll carry you.

.

Have mistakes, wrong chords and all. That was my third take, and my throat was getting sore, so I just uploaded the best take there was.

Categories: Music, Poems | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

JYJ Impromptu Song


Yoochun on piano, plays a random tune. Junsu hums along. Jaejoong starts singing about Junsu, stringing up lyrics as he goes along. Junsu, delighted, sings along with him. The staff just helplessly laugh.

Jaejoong plays the piano and starts another impromptu song about… how cold he is. And their manager’s eating habits.

I bet there’s never an uninteresting day when you’re with these guys.

And it’s not fair how they can make a song in seconds when it takes me months (years even!) to come up with a good enough melody for one.

>.<

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Soundtrip 4: Paano na kaya [Translation]


Decided to try my hand out at translating OPM songs that I love. This is one of the songs that I’ve fallen in love with the first time I heard it. Bugoy Drilon’s voice makes me swoon and melt into a puddle of goo.

Lyrics:
Paano Na Kaya

Paano nga ba napasukan ang gusot na ito?
‘Di naman akalain magbabago ang pagtingin sa ‘yo

Mula nang makilala ka, umikot ang mundo ko
‘Di na kayang ilihim at itago ang nararamdamang ito

Paano na kaya, ‘di sinasadya
‘Di kayang magtapat ang puso ko
Bakit sa dinami-rami ng kaibigan ko, ikaw pa?
Paano na kaya, ‘di sinasadya
Ba’t nahihiya ang puso ko?
Hirap na umibig sa isang kaibigan
‘Di masabi ang nararamdaman
Paano na kaya?

Kung malaman ang damdamin at ‘di mo tanggapin
‘Di ko yata matitiis mawala ka kahit isang saglit man lang

Paano na kaya, ‘di sinasadya
‘Di kayang magtapat ang puso ko
Bakit sa dinami-rami ng kaibigan ko, ikaw pa?
Paano na kaya, ‘di sinasadya
Ba’t nahihiya ang puso ko?
Hirap na umibig sa isang kaibigan
‘Di masabi ang nararamdaman
Paano na kaya?

At kung magkataong ito’y malaman mo
Sana naman tanggapin mo

Bakit sa dinami-rami ng kaibigan ko, ikaw pa
Paano na kaya, ‘di sinasadya
Ba’t nahihiya ang puso ko?
Hirap na umibig sa isang kaibigan
at baka hindi maintindihan
Paano na kaya…

Translation:

What Should I Do

How did I get into this mess again?
I didn’t think it would change, the way I look at you
Since I met you, my world started turning
I can’t hide and keep these feelings secret anymore

What should I do now? I didn’t mean to
My heart couldn’t confess
Of all my friends, why did it have to be you?
What should I do now? I didn’t mean to
Why does my heart hesitate?
It’s hard to love a friend
I can’t say what I feel
What should I do now?

If my feelings were known and you don’t accept,
I don’t think I can bear loosing you
Even just for a moment…

What should I do now? I didn’t mean to..
My heart couldn’t confess
Of all my friends, why did it have to be you?
What should I do now? I didn’t mean to
Why does my heart hesitate?
It’s hard to love a friend
I can’t say what I feel
What should I do now?

And if there’s a chance that you find out
I hope you will accept…

Of all my friends, why did it have to be you?
What do I do now? I didn’t mean to
Why does my heart hesitate?
It’s hard to love a friend
You may not understand.
What should I do?

Note: I tried to translate as accurately as I could. The phrase “Paano na kaya” is particularly hard to translate, I can’t think of an english word for “kaya.” The phrase can be used in context for “What do I do now?” or “What’s going to happen next?”  or “How will the situation go from here and what is going to be done about it?” It generally depicts helplessness about a situation or a circumstance. But I’m no expert, so if anyone would correct me or offer better translation, I appreciate it.

Categories: Music | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

Unimportant ramblings. Ignore if you must.


TVXQ5…. It’s frustrating. Whenver I want to refer to the 5-member group, I always feel like I have to tack on a 5 since only two is still using it right now. I’ll just call them HoMin and JYJ.

I’ve been thinking for a long time that they’re probably never going back together, and I’m okay with that. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I’m finally learning to accept that. I’m just all for supporting both HoMin and JYJ, even though admittedly I follow JYJ more zealously, but that’s just because of my personal bias with Jaejoong. The split was painful, but I’m healing. Stopped torturing myself with waiting for things to get better and just resolved to deal with what comes next. It’s much easier than being disappointed again and again and again. I’m just dreading the time where they’d have to face against each other on stage. Fanwars will explode left and right, and the fight will be vicious. It’s sad to see Cassiopeia, a fandom almost legendary with their devotion, split in these ugly terms. I feel sadder for those who continue to support the five who’re left in the middle, playing referee between JYJ and HoMin fans.

On the bright side, since I’ve stopped listening almsot exclusively to Asian Pop Music, I’m rediscovering American mainstream which is more diverse and a bit more competitive. I can finally relate to my friends— oh joy! — who have finally heard me sing a non-Korean/Japanese song. I want to listen more into OPM, too, and it makes me sad that bands like Sugarfree and Bamboo have disbanded, too… The lack of lawsuits and petty fighst were a relief. I swear, it’s like I’m now allergic to the word “lawsuit.” I’m allergic to the letters S and M, too, especially when they’re together with E, but that’s just me.

I haven’t rambled in a long time. Ha. Though I think my sentence structure and organization went from half-way decent to downright atrocious. Oh, well…

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Protected: An open (or closed) letter 2.0


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3rd Live Tour 2008 “T” — Shine + Somebody to Love

After more than a year of continuous fandom distress, I’ve forgotten how much these five people make me happy just by watching them. The way they just have fun on stage, energy level on an all time high and never wavering even though they’ve been singing more or less two hours straight, never failing to give their 101% in singing and dancing and going on and on even though they look like they might just choke on gasping for air… Their adrenaline-induced euphoria just oozes through my computer screen to reach me, making me dance in my seat and sing along.

And I’ve just realized that Somebody to Love is such a crowd-favorite and never fails to be sung on ever one of Tohoshinki’s concert tours. Honestly, I didn’t like it so much the first time I saw the MV, and I thought the song was nothing remarkable, but when Tohoshinki performs it live–Wham! It becomes a hundred times better.

I’m ready to flail uselessly for just about now because my financial resources are much too little (read: zero) to buy any of the concert DVDs/albums that I want so much.

Being penniless is sometimes such a pain.

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Blossoming


I once saw a man. I didn’t think he was anything remarkable, the first time I saw him. His skin was too pale, his hair was too black, his face was too girly and he looked so stiff and ice cold that I dismissed him in favor of his taller, cuter, more smiley friend.

But then I heard him sing… Husky smooth voice grabbing my attention. And I found myself paying him more attention than the others.

And then I heard him talk. His blunt remarks and silly personality, warm and inviting despite his cold looks…

Slowly, I started to see his statuesque beauty. His blank, mysterious face drawing me in, almost otherwordly in his prettiness. I found myself nursing a little crush, and for a period of time watched him and him only.

Over time, that little crush didn’t fade away, but it was overwhelmed as I developed similar little crushes to the four people surrounding him. Watching them became my haven, became the highlight of my days. The five of them became the inspiration of my writing, my art, my thoughts… Still, no matter how much I like them all, no matter how much I insist that I have no favorite, I know deep inside as I look at pictures of him smiling so warmly, I still like him a little more.

And even now that trouble struck them, even when I struggle with balancing my attention towards the five people who have become a part of my life, I still find myself looking at him a little more.

My watching him wasn’t always pleasant. There were times when I wondered why I liked him so much. When now I am of the opinion that his friend has an even more hypnotizing voice, that his other friend has the sharpest wit I’ve ever seen, that his other friend has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen, and his other friend has a more charming smile and easy grace. I didn’t want to suddenly know that I only like his beautiful face. It would be an insult to him and to me as well.

 I couldn’t forget the time when I thought it was his cold looks I was in love with…. Face carved out of an ice sculpture, ethereal and mesmerizing. And then the feeling of crushing shame when I finally notice how breathtakingly beautiful his smile was. Warm and full of life and passion and dreams…

However, throughout the times I spent liking him, there was always a little voice at the back of my mind, grounding me to my thoughts. Grounding me to reality, also. My feelings I’ve always acknowledged as nothing more than that of a dedicated watcher.

Until I saw this.

For the first time I felt that I was truly, definitely inlove with this man.

For the first time I found myself wishing it was me he was looking at. Found myself wishing it was me he was smiling at. Found myself wishing it was me he was laughing with, and me he was crying with.

Beautiful eyes totally focused, a perfect comnination of bliss and pain etched on his face… almost pained, as if saying “I love you… so much that it hurts to know this moment won’t last forever…”

And as he cries, and I feel the pain, and I wonder how he could evoke this jumbled emotions from me… Pride, love, appreciation…

He’s so beautiful.

He’s the man I want to marry. And it hurts a little that even in my wildest dreams, he is a star. Unattainable. Unreachable.

. . .

. . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . Yes, I’m melodramatic. We’ve already establised that a looooong time ago. Nyah.

Ahem, back to reality… This PV leaves me in a starry-eyed trance. My eyes were stuck on Jaejoong throughout the entire time. His acting has improved leaps and bounds, and I couldn’t be any more proud of being a fan of his. I mean, the way he delivered the emotions — the happiness, the adoration, the love, and then suddenly the sheer desperation, the anger, the sorrow… It just leaves me breathless in awe. Especially that beach scene when he was on a crying rampage… Man, I teared up a little.

And did I mention how beautiful he was? Is? Has always been?

And I feel for the girl… I can only assume that she wasn’t told of his illness, but she knows anyway. And she just let him believe she didn’t know, maybe on an attempt to not burden him farther for the remaining days they spend together.

Jaejoong’s awesomeness aside, this PV is for the lack of words… a lot tad overused, but tugs at your heart strings just the same. (Personally, for me, it was Jaejoong’s performance that tugged on my heart strings, but what do I know, I’m just a biased writer who fangirls one of the most gorgeous men on Earth). And I’m glad with how simple it looked like… It’s not overly dramatic. The scenes weren’t crammed. And the fact that you don’t hear Jaejoong’s words when he was shouting created this sort of mysterious effect (can’t find the right words).

The song was… Well, I thought it was lovely. Ayumi Hamasaki is after all the Queen of J-Pop. I was too focused (gasp! shock!) with staring at Jaejoong to listen intently.

This made my day, which has been pretty crappy since this morning.

Categories: DBSK, Music | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

An Open Letter


Disdained company who fooled us all,

Notice how I didn’t put “dear” in there, because at this moment there is nothing I find “dear” about you. Continue reading

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