Greetings, blog that I haven’t updated for several months!

SmileyBunny: Several months? Several months?! I haven’t seen hide nor hair of you for almost a year!

(SB throws a chair. Ikang dodges the flying chair.)

Whoa whoa, let’s not get violent here, shall we–

SmileyBunny: No letters, no words, not even a peep! And you dare show your face here with a pretentious ‘Greetings!’

(SB throws a table. Ikang barely dodges the flying table. She nervously laughs.)

Look, SB, calm down–

SmileyBunny: Don’t you dare tell me to calm down! 

(SB looks around for anything else to throw, but finds nothing, and so settles for throwing self on a couch and glaring ferociously. Ikang sighs in temporary relief.)


Ahem. So. Hello, blog that I haven’t updated for several mo–

SmileyBunny: Abandoned. ABANDONED FOR ALMOST A YEAR.

Look, it’s not my fault! See, there’s this website, it’s called Tumblr, and it’s taken over my life–

SmileyBunny: Oh sure, blame the website and not yourself, why don’t you?

No, seriously, it’s addicting. See, it’s a blogging platform that lets you blog, re-blog, like posts and tag and–

SmileyBunny: I knew it! I KNEW IT! YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME!


SmileyBunny: First it was that LiveJournal hussy, and now THIS?

It’s not actually cheating since you’re a blog, not a person–

SmileyBunny: Oh. OH. So you’re using that excuse, huh? Yeah, demean me to soothe your guilty conscience, you… you three-timer!

 SB, you and me, we’re not in any kind of relationship for me to be three-timing you–

SmileyBunny: And now you’re denying me! All those years we had, all those DBSK posts I had to endure, all those times I spent mocking you when you were angst-ing about them, you’re saying they didn’t mean anything to you?

You’re not exactly helping your case here, SB.

SmileyBunny: This is just– You know what? I give up. Go back to your stupid Tumbler–

It’s Tumblr. Without an ‘e.’

SmileyBunny: Go back to your stupid Tumblr-without-an-e and blog yourself out. Yeah, you heard me. BLOG YOURSELF OUT.

Now that you mention it, I have around 1,400 posts there and I regularly blog practically everyday. I have 25 people following me, which by Tumblr standards isn’t really anything but– Uhm, SB, why are you so red? What are you doing— SB, wait. No, I’ll shut up about Tumblr, I promise! Just, please drop the couch, please! SB, have mercy–OOF!


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The Road So Far…


Carry on, my wayward son
There’ll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don’t you cry no more~

Insert kickass guitar solo here.

Ahem. Yes, I am well aware that my writing gets lamer (and more vulgar, come to think of it) every year. But that is what happens when there’s something I am jumping out of my seat to share, and couldn’t be bothered thinking of more proper ways of introducing it.

The brief excerpt from above is the chorus to a classic song of Kansas’, called “Carry On My Wayward Son.” It is one of the main tracks from the show I’m currently, reluctantly, helplessly obsessed with. And how the heck did I find myself almost reaching former DBSK5-level obsession here, when I’ve sworn off being swept off my fangirl feet ever again, you ask?

It started with Glee, of all things. Glee.

That’s right, I watch Glee… or used to, anyway, before this new obsession took over me. The musically-inclined side of me loves it because it helps me discover good songs I would have been sorry not hearing due to over-focusing on a certain K-pop/J-pop boy band that broke my heart to a million pieces and danced upon the shards (yeah, so I’m kinda/maybe/still a little bitter about it. Sue me. No, wait…). Having Darren Criss on the cast was also a treat, with me being one of the original Starkids fans (He was Harry-freakin’-Potter before he was this Blaine-dude. Back off, gleeks). I haven’t been able to watch more after this certain episode of season 3, but I’m planning to… Maybe sometime this summer.

But I digress. So there I was— sitting in front of the computer, one cold November afternoon last year— catching up on the episodes I’ve missed, when I heard one of the most gorgeous songs I have ever heard in my life: “Fix You” by Coldplay.

After spending time melting on my seat into a puddle of goo on the floor at the scene of Will reassuring Emma with this gorgeous song, I finished the episode (Asian F) and immediately searched Youtube. It was then that I came across this fanvid, which turned out to be my demise.

It piqued my curiosity –  Who are these people? Why is that girl on fire? Why are they crying? Ew, what’s that gross thing coming out of his mouth? Why does one of the main lead look dead? Whoa! He crawled out of a grave! Man-hugs, cool! What is this show?

I read the comments under the vid, and found out that the show is called “Supernatural.” It sounded interesting. It sounded promising. A show about two brothers? With supernatural elements and a lot of angst-fest? Sounds like my kind of show. What? Horror genre? Erm… Err… Gore? Gross! Not for me. But… (sigh) I’ll give it a chance.

Now, you see, I hated horror, and I hated gore even more. It is why I wouldn’t even notice Halloween passing by if not for the tons of candy and colorful costumes you can see everywhere. A horror movie is synonymous to gore-flying-whichever-way to me. You can make me watch one if it’s really good, but most horror movies I’ve watched (which admittedly doesn’t reach a two-digit count) just don’t have a plot line that is engaging enough for me to ignore the blood and guts liberally spilled throughout.

So with great hesitation, I clicked on the show, head turned away, one eye closed, and the other half-opened in case blood and guts start splattering on the computer screen. I was doubtful I could even finish one episode. But lo and behold, the pilot episode sucked me right in, and the moment I watched the infamous “jerk-bitch” banter between Sam and Dean Winchester within the first half of the show, I knew the horror element wouldn’t be enough to not keep me watching.

Supernatural season 1 promo poster

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Love in the ice (acoustic cover)

I’ve been meaning to make a cover of this song for years now. I couldn’t find chords in the internet, so I just guessed them. Finally recorded one today. I tried playing the guitar with a pick to make the sound sharper, but I only succeeded on distracting myself and getting lyrics wrong. It’s not the best of covers, and I couldn’t control my voice very well through the high notes. *hides face in embarrassment*

I’m writing my own version with English lyrics. Almost done with it, though whether or not I’ll record it depends if I find time/confidence for it.

Categories: DBSK, Music | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment


They say that there are two kinds of special bonds in this world— two kinds of strings that tie people together.

One of them is the red thread, the bond that signifies romantic love: True love, fated chance of two people destined to be together. It roots from the very core of a person’s heart. It is like an addicting drug, like fire igniting a passionate connection that can only be defined with hearts being bonded together. Most common but hardly ever unbroken, it is a bond that could either mean a person’s happiness or destruction. It is a fragile string that will either stand out the test of time, or simply be cut.

The second one is the silver thread, the bond that symbolizes a different kind of love. It signifies friendship: true friendship that forms from the very roots of the soul. It connects two strangers together by the essence of their person. It is like water— calm, enriching, warm and easily molded, adjusted and shaped. Most rare but hardly ever broken, it is a bond that becomes the definition of a person. It is a piece of string that is the hardest to find— but once tied, it remains timeless ly strong.

The red and silver threads are the strongest bonds a person could ever form in a lifetime…

But if you are forced to cut one to keep the other… which would you choose?

… Man, who writes prologues like this in a story that’s titled “Choices?” It’s cheesy, it’s corny, it’s against everything that I believe a good introduction should be, it has freaking similes! Similes!

I know I should just hack it away from my draft, but I can’t bring myself to. I love it, but I hate it. I love that I wrote it, but I hate that I wouldn’t even give it a second glance if I was the reader, not the writer.

I’ve been writing “Choices” since 2008, and I still haven’t managed to get it past the editing process. Four years of labor, and I still haven’t finished it, which is pathetic because it’s just a fanfic and it shouldn’t take this long, but it’s my baby and I’ve been developing it endlessly from a four-page drabble into an almost one hundred-page draft.

And now I’m having thoughts about changing the POV from first person to second person, except that I’ve written the entire thing in first person and though I hated it for a while, I relentlessly edited it until it worked. And it was fine like that. But then, recently, I rewrote a section, one measley section and changed it to second person, which turned out ten times better than it was. And the thought of rewiring everything is exhausting, and the first person POV is how I wrote it. I don’t know what to do.

Who said writing was easy? It’s like pulling a tooth. Without anesthesia. And with a plier.

I need advise. And a beta. Where can I find those?

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Protected: Woes of a heartbroken fangirl

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Reactions to Koizora

I’ve been hearing for a few years now about Koizora, and I’ve been hearing nothing but good things about it. Finally, I decided to sit down and watch it, wishing I was watching with a friend, so we could bawl our eyes out together.

…It couldn’t be more different from what I expected.

These are my reactions:

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What I’m up to these days…

Got done with nursing school weeks ago, and am currently prepping up for boards. Just thinking of it sends my stomach twisting to knots, so I turn to a lot of things to amuse myself.

One of these things are watching Asian dramas (is that the right plural term?). In no particular order:

Protect the Boss — I started watching this purely to bask in Jaejoong’s gorgeousness, and I was determined to see this through for his sake. But seeing how gut-busting hilarious it turned out to be (episode 4 was the best), with the compelling plot, dynamic chemistry between the cast, superb directing, and great acting, this is turning out to be a wonderful watch.

I love the cast. I love the OTP. I love Jaejoong. I even love Jisung’s hair. Am I the only one who does?

I love this poster just because of the lulz! factor.

Yeah. Isn’t he just gorgeous? *melts into a puddle of goo* (ahem. Yeah, I have issues)

Nobuta wo Produce — This is seriously my second most favorite drama of all time, next to Sungkyunkwan Scandal (which I really need to blog about). I will forever remember the day when I randomly clicked on this drama while searching for something to watch, and then totally falling in love with the group of misfits who defines friendship and making friends in its purest form. Yes, I love it so much that it makes me slightly poetic. Nobuta, Shuji and Akira (especially Akira, that adorable weirdo) will live in my heart forever. That ending is just perfect that I bawled my eyes out. This is my kind of drama. This is one drama that I’m never going to forget.

Quirky, loveable characters and solid plotline, but that’s not all. Cliched high school background, but differently executed and utilized. It’s one about friendship, capturing youth, forgetting about ephemeral things like popularity and building solid relationships around you, changing who you are, growing up into maturity, leaving childhood. Lies and sincerity. Shedding short-lived images. All that is good and bad in high school.

Here, a random fanvid to entice you into watching.

Watch. This. Series. Now. Kon-kon.

Ouran High School Host Club (live action) — I was a bit iffy about watching this because of Ouran’s pseudo-fantasy genre (what with all the impossibly pretty boys present here), but I was so pleasantly surprised. Yamamoto Yusuke (the actor playing Tamaki) doesn’t look like Tamaki at all, but he NAILED Tamaki’s character so well that you get absorbed into his world as you do in the anime. Kawaguhi Haruna makes a very believable Haruhi. I could continue on prattling about the cast and how well they do their designated characters, but that would be wasting my breath because you just have to watch to see for yourself. Of course, I recommend that you watch the anime-version first, but the live action is good enough, I think.

100 Days to Heaven — I firmly believe that this drama should be packed into a delightful package and shipped to everywhere else in Asia. This is an example of a premier Filipino drama that showcases Filipino culture, beliefs and values into a solid, engaging plot, and performed excellently by both veteran actors/actress and child actor/actresses. It’s about a ruthless, successful businesswoman, Anna Manalastas, who dies at the beginning of the series. She was given the chance to correct her mistakes and receive the forgiveness of those she had wronged on earth in order to be able to enter heaven. But in one condition: that she do everything as a child, and that she do it within exactly one hundred days. Coney Reyes and little Xyriel Manabat perform Anna Manalastas with unbelievable life and attitude. This little gem of a drama should be treasured.

Yeah. Four drama series. Hopefully, this list doesn’t grow even longer, or I’ll have to forsake sleeping in favor of watching.

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Protected: Life and Courage

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Not Yet (self-composed)

This is a song I wrote back in 2010. I finally had the courage to re-record it again after the first video I recorded was stolen along with my first laptop (sob. I still haven’t gotten over that). The lyrics might sound familiar, because they are, and I’ve written the same exact words before in a post here somewhere, which I then decided to turn into a poem. I wasn’t satisfied with it, so I turned it into a song. It was a hard, rough journey filled with frustration and much hair-pulling to get into this (probably lacking) final product.

Not Yet

With one last smile and one last laugh
ou’re leaving without going back
it’s hard to let go when it’s clear
it still remains that thing I fear

you said we’ll always be together
flying high to stars and skies
I’d rather us two fall together
hold my hand, baby, hold my hand

Not yet, not now, I plead and pray
so many words there is to say
and songs to sing, don’t go away
Not yet, not now, if only I
could turn the world around for you
I’ll carry you, I’ll carry you

It’s hard to tell myself it’s alright,
that our days are over
I won’t forget, I’m holding on
look back, look back, don’t go

Not yet, not now, I plead and pray
so words there is to say
and songs to sing, don’t go away
Not yet, not now, if only I
could turn the world around for you
I’ll carry you, I’ll carry you

You promised me forever
What is it but just a word
This essence so deeply imbued
It’s opposite cuts like a sword

Not yet, not now, if only I
could turn the world around for you
I’ll carry you, I’ll carry you

Not yet, not now, I plead and pray
so words there is to say
and songs to sing, don’t go away
Not yet, not now, if only I
could turn the world around for you
I’ll carry you, I’ll carry you
I’ll carry you, I’ll carry you.


Have mistakes, wrong chords and all. That was my third take, and my throat was getting sore, so I just uploaded the best take there was.

Categories: Music, Poems | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

JYJ Impromptu Song

Yoochun on piano, plays a random tune. Junsu hums along. Jaejoong starts singing about Junsu, stringing up lyrics as he goes along. Junsu, delighted, sings along with him. The staff just helplessly laugh.

Jaejoong plays the piano and starts another impromptu song about… how cold he is. And their manager’s eating habits.

I bet there’s never an uninteresting day when you’re with these guys.

And it’s not fair how they can make a song in seconds when it takes me months (years even!) to come up with a good enough melody for one.


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